I'm Crying, and Then...

I've been sitting at my computer and listening to Prairie Home Companion and crying when hearing the soft gentle singing of Celtic songs. My body is sad all over. It's a sadness without specifics, without specific thoughts going with it. I have fibromyalgia resulting in me being weak, fatigue (I need 12 hours of sleep a night), and minor injuries such as sprains and tennis elbow that take forever to heal. Removing possibilities of cancer and the risks of surgery, this is all still a very big deal to me. I am scared that I will get even weaker and be more limited than I am today. Having major surgery and the 4-6 weeks of recovery is a big deal. My friend just called and I told her about my fear. And then I thought -- what if I had someone take me to the pool every day after two or three weeks of recovery? I could walk in the pool and regain strength and maybe even get stronger than I already am. Maybe I could get to the place where I would be strong enough to take myself to the pool. In the lingo of Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)I shifted. I'm not crying now, I'm feeling hopeful.