Day after the Diagnosis

I sat down at my computer this morning to look up the Brain Tumor Society web page and thought -- this isn't fair. Why has this come into my life 3 weeks after my dad died from a Glioblastoma Multiform IV brain tumor...?

My father worried about everything. I realized as I got out of bed that whether I worry about the outcome of the surgery or not the outcome will be the same. I'm afraid of a small chance of major competitions or death. Surgery is scary.

I'm pissed that my attention is shifting to my brain tumor. I was just starting to work with my grief. I was just starting to branch out and try new organizations to make new friends and start dating. Just like the three and half months my father was sick my attention is now focused away from these goals and on health and illness. It's not what I wanted. It's not what I wanted.